An obnoxious morning exercise.

A few weeks ago, I woke up and decided to challenge myself while still tired. I was to write some fanciful prose that serves only one purpose, to show off. It’s littered with the ego and sharp, venomous wit of a megalomaniac wordsmith. It was fun. It’s also an unedited first draft so it’s not immune to error. However, given the glaring misconception of self-importance, I deserve any criticism that one can summon. I only ask that insults are said with tact. You’ll at least get an acknowledgement out of me. Just don’t expect an apology or an arguement. No time for that. Brace yourselves. You’re about to meet an asshole.

To paraphrase Nabokov, “You can always count on a [schizophrenic] for a fancy prose style.”


“I’m a rather pretentious prick of a poet who has only perfected pomp and pretty, passionate poesy over proper prose. Pontification provided at its peak to pique my puny peers’ (I pluralise peer for politeness but it’s a pleasantry to please the prostrate, pious, perpetrators of perfect prose) palatable proclivities for pageantry. Those petty, plebeian poets whose verse pierces the ear and penetrates the pages of periodicals to pander to the people who possess no poetic prowess with no prowess themselves! Pathetic. Prometheus pities those who pervert the power of his present, the fire they pillage and plunder that burns purely in the pyre; the hearts of true artists.”

– Stephen J Dawson Jr.

P.S. I rarely have time to proofread my posts and, when I do, I often miss my mistakes. As pompous as I am, I know I’m not immune to error. Everything you’ve read and are likely to read in the future are first drafts. Feel free to comment and point out any errors that I may correct them. I don’t consider it rude. 


18 thoughts on “An obnoxious morning exercise.

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  1. I’m not versed in poetry, at all, but I can definitely appreciate it. As a former raging egomaniac, I can appreciate this on another level as well. Sometimes you’ve gotta feed the beast to keep it quiet. Very well done.

    1. Thank you very much! I have schizophrenia and, besides hallucinations, my most frequent symptoms are delusions of grandeur. Even heavily sedated, I can’t help but be a bit of a megalomaniac.

      1. Hey, to each their own. I’ve got delusions of grandeur as well, but I apply pretty strict logic to them to keep things balanced. I’ve found that my dreams really aren’t out of reach. I’m writing to practice the skills I need to live up to those delusions. I love a peek inside the mind of anyone, especially those who differ. Thank you for sharing.

      2. Ahhh! Very similar mindset as I have. Very nice. And thank you for your feedback!

      3. No problem. I wish we got more direct feedback in our modern society. I try to be pretty open and say what needs said. Rare freaking mindset these days, damn.

      4. Same here. Skip the pleasantries and sentiment. I’d rather be considered rude than be loved for some polite ass that I’m not. When I give a compliment it’s for a damn good reason.

      5. Hey, a practical human! That’s weird! Congrats on that, btw. Lol. I do social experiments where I purposely post things that should elicit a specific response. Like my story about Zip Tie Wille. It’s meant to be ridiculous and make people uncomfortable and question things. It weeds out the asshats. Life’s a game, enjoy it.

      6. Holy shit. You should see my Instagram account and read my manuscript. I do exactly the same thing.

      7. Got a way to message me on here? Send the link somehow and I’ll give it a browse. I won’t get an account though, heads up. I dont like social media very much.I try hard not to be full of shit, but I eat alot…

      8. Honestly, I have no idea how to message. I’m pretty new to blogging. I think my contact page sends me an email though.

      9. Thank you. Looking forward to your thoughts. Same goes for you, my friend.

    2. Thank you very much! I have schizophrenia and, besides hallucinations, my most frequent symptoms are delusions of grandeur. Even heavily sedated, I can’t help but be a bit of a megalomaniac. Either that or I’m just an asshole who knows a lot of words that begin with P. Hahaha.

    1. Hahaha. Thank you. That was just me stretching my legs and being a dick. Hahahaha.

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